Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Who do I have to kill in order to get a house around here?

I left this a few weeks to write about in order to avoid words which would have me kicked off blogspot.

After a while, the words I feel like now using are: the f word, the excretions word, the empowered woman word (cos hey, we own it after all!), the damnation word, the testes word and the 'there just ain't a pejorative term bad enough to use here' word

We are in the process of buying a house. At least we were. Now we are looking again.

I've come to the conclusion houses are like men. You see one, you do a bit of an explore or two. You click (or at least mentally position your king size in its master bedroom) and you fall. You dream about the damm house. You (who NEVER buys magazines as a point of pride) invests £18 in a pile of interior design magazines. You move walls (again in your mind) and etch out a long term plan for "improvement". Hell there are humans you have invested less time and planning into.

So you make a tentative offer. Like a woman wearing a polo-neck and glasses on a first date (just in case he turns out to be an 'ugg' in looks or personality) you keep it as low-key as possible in order to test the water.

Funnily enough, your test gets a response. Your proposal for a second "date" is given a lukewarm responsee. The message is clear; "up the ante and interest will be increased". So you get out your best Betty Jackson wrap dress, your high-heeled strapped shoes and your 40 denier tights ..... oh sorry wrong story. Anyhow, back to the house, you up the offer 10K because that is what the worm-breathed estate agent told you they would accept and you sit back. The mental wall-knocking continues, you even go as far as a colour scheme for the master bedroom. Oh, and the bathroom is so getting a six foot metal bath.

And the Fatherless owners turn around and reject your offer even though the puppy-buggering estate agent told you would accept it. The message back is that they would accept 10K on top of your latest offer.

So the paranoia begins (all 4 mins of it)
Did they really give the estate agent the initial acceptable figure?
If so, what the hell happened in the meantime?
Is this a figure the estate agent made up because he thought he could talk the house owners into it?
*Something else*

Ah let them go to blazes.

So like a tentative elderly female scorned divorcee with the power of "f-em" and fury behind them, we are back on the dating (house-hunting) scene again.

We saw somewhere today. We clicked. We are going on a second date. Thursday 10.30am. Wish us luck. Only more more thing to add ... a king sized bed would fit easily into the master bedroom. I think we have started having plans for that room already ....

We are such tarts!


Violet said...

Ah, that's your problem you see. You've only just met the house and you're already imagining the wedding - I mean, the redecorating.

ElizaF said...

We have switched our affections to another house in the meantime. We may be quick to lose our hearts and heads but sometimes being shallow is a redeeming feature :)