Wednesday, September 06, 2006

What a way to make a living ....

Today I am mostly listening to Franz Ferdinand at very loud volumes here in corporate towers. I tend to do this on days when I am writing documentation to stop me from going demented at the utter corpospeakedness of phrases like “The sequence of events has been clearly defined in the accompanying documentation”

Fourteen, yes FOURTEEN pages of shite just to say, “probably safe to let the production team install it in our live environment as long as you can find the one of them that can read in order to do it”

I am having a "professional" issue with someone from Production at the moment but I think I am hiding it rather well. Do you agree? It is one of those fundamental arguments that happen every day in corpo-land. I think they are a total tool (as in about as much use as a headless hammer) and they disagree. Hey-ho.

Coming back to the documentation, I wonder will anyone spot the part in the conclusion where I say “yes it blooming works, now take the damm thing as far away from me as you can physically get it before I throw it in the river below”

Sometimes I wonder if I am really cut out for life in corporate towers.

I love the work, I love playing with software, operating systems, networks and wires and servers. I occasionally get brave enough occasionally to play with the switches (albeit with one eye closed and the fingers of one hand crossed behind my back) I even get on well with pointy headed people. I just hate all the other rubbish that is a symptom of working in the IT industry in most major cities.

I liked working in IT in Ireland where things were more simple. This was a place where the sound of birds song could be heard in the open office windows all the time, the sun always shone and the smell of barley in the fields came wafting through on gentle breezes.

Well, ok, all that might be a bit of sepia induced nostalgia but communications always went something like this:
Boss: “Well?” (meaning does the darn thing work and any chance we can release it next Tuesday)
Me: “More chance of me passing a tractor through me arse” (meaning no, the sheer volume of bugs as well as the limited range of the actual functionality compared to the broad spectrum of the desired functionality means that it is not a suitable piece of software to set loose on the unsuspecting general public)
Boss: “Fuck” (meaning, ah this is not the reply I desired. I shall have to have a word with engineering to see if I can persuade them into a beer and pizza fuelled overtime frenzy in order to get the majority of the defects fixed)

5 comments:

Ivan said...

Views of the river? E14? Agreeable pointy head? You're obviously not still with 'muse!

Violet said...

Are you a technical writer? I once thought of taking that up as a new career, but never bothered in the end. I did like the idea of trying to write documentation for customers, whilst trying not to sound condescending or bored.

Neil said...

Are you sure that was the smell of barley in the fields you used to smell?

ElizaF said...

Hi Violet, I am not a technical writer, I am a software tester. I find where it is broken and hopefully deliver it to the technical writer(s) in something approaching a state worth documenting :) E.

ElizaF said...

Neil!! Are you suggesting my nostalgia smells of something other than barley??!!