Thursday, January 04, 2007

OK, John Barrowman, I GET the hint

My husband and I have had the free pass chat.

You know the one: So if I bump into *name certain celebrity* in the street and they are not put off by mottled hair, grey skin, saggy Mummy tummy handles and the pockets full of (used) baby snot rags I pocess, I can have a free pass to shag them should they show an interest.

Well Yippee.

So hubbie picked Alicia Witt. You know the slender (scawney bone flashing) tall (gangly torture stretch rack victim lookalike) pale (pasty faced) gorgous (plain) American actress with the spots on her arse*.
*Ok, I MAY have made certain parts of that up.

Old spotty arse herself

So I have picked John Barrowman, the lead actor of BBC 3s spin off to the new Dr. Who called Torchwood.

He is a fine thing and no mistake.

The only thing is that he keeps up this silly pretence of being gay. Not ANOTHER one. Someone should tell him that the days of having to deny your sexuality to get ahead in British theatre are soooo over. While they are at it, they should also tell him that I have a free pass.

Hang on, has someone done that already?

OMG, I see the light. He HAS heard about the free pass. From all available evidence, he has also heard about the drooping flesh coloured Mummy balloons and the glamerous snot rags as well.

Oh pooh.

"He's so happy, so happy and so gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay"

Mr. Barrowman, in an attempt to continue with his gay facade went and got married this week to some bloke he claims to have been in a 16 year relationship with. Yeah right. You know John, it's ok to say you just don't fancy me. The lenghts you are going to with the gay thing are a little extreme.



Karl said...

What? You didn't pick ME?

s@bd said...

her face is kind of weird, don't you think? sort of oval-y. *shudder*

and? the thing about all the white skin is it's blinding. BLINDING I tell you (trust me - i know what i'm talking about here).

plus? without the benefit of makeup, her eyelashes & brows disappear (gonna' have to trust me on that one, too).

definitely plain.

Violet said...

A guy that pretty surely has to be gay, right? Mind you, before Jude Law broke up with Sadie Frost and turned out to be a bit of a sleaze, I wouldn't have turned him down even if he was pretty.

crowbarred said...

Is there a Job Application where one could apply for counting the spots?

FagandHag said...

He is soooooo gorgeous. Good choice.