Saturday, April 19, 2008

An ideal husband

My birthday was in December, I was 33.

When asked by my husband what I wanted for my birthday, I eagerly nominated a newly released anthology of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories which I had been eyeing up as we drank coffee in one of our haunts the week before. To this date, that book is still sitting on the shelf in Waterstones in Greenwich where I first saw it and not on my bedside table where I imagined it.

I just remembered this (again) today as he talked about getting someone else a birthday present Someone he has not seen in months.

Then I remembered about the Hitchcock films DVD collection I asked him for on my birthday the year before. We currently don't have the Hitchcock films on DVD in the house if anyone is wondering.

Hypothetically, If I did have the time and energy to complain to him and tell him how I was feeling, he would properly tell me that it is this person's 40th birthday and therefore "special". Then I would remember how I asked him to organise a party for my 30th, a bit over three years ago. The result was a suprise party. As in, "you know that party? Surprise! there ain't one!"

You might like to notice (as I just have) that the responses to his question "what do you want for your birthday" have got darker in nature as the years have passed. Next year I expect I shall ask for "The Dummies guide to burying your husband under the patio and getting away with it"

The thing I don't mind, not really. You cannot force someone to consider you and remember every promise they made to you. I mean, that would look like a loving, devoted, considerate, romantic husband, wouldn't it? And when we grow up, we realise that sort of husband only exists in Hollywood films of the 1950s.

When I was little my ideal husbands in no particular order were; Cary Grant, Burt Lancaster and Spenser Tracey. Demon lovers and raging romantics in every film they were in. To me, that was the sign of a real man. Now, I realise those sort of husbands are only provided by screen-writers and not real life.

There will be no services for the little piece of me that died over the past three years. It is probably best unmourned anyway.

Oh he did get me something for my 29th, when he asked me what I wanted, I said a decent draughts board we could use together. So he got me a cardboard one with the price still on from a toy shop.

Men, eh?


isadub said...

For his birthday, you should give him a pen and a piece of paper ripped out of one of your children's school jotters. That'll teach him.

Violet said...

Men, eh? My bloke tends to give me gadgets that excite him a heck of a lot more than they do me. Last Christmas he actually asked me what I wanted - I said "a subscription to Writer magazine". And that has not materialized, so there you go - it's not just your husband.

Karl said...

Your ideal husband, let's face it, is me. I'd totally give you DVDs and books and anything else you want.

dh said...

I love that Cary Grant quote...

"Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant."

chazza said...

Just stumbled on your your outlook, thoughts and sayings. In particular this one....I so see your point and agree, you get to an age and it deffinately is so unfortunataly.

Men...they NEVER LISTEN when you want them to. Listen when you don't want them to.(Store in their cpu/braub to use against you in an argument).

Yes Hollywood has alot to answer to. . .lol x

Istvanski said...

Chazza - start talking some sense and then I'll start listening to you!